Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam..........

You can click this little picture to make it bigger. What you'll see is a compilation of Pam photos. Each and every one of these photos were taken within the past 5 years, the oldest at the 12 o'clock position and the newest at about the 11 o'clock spot. And in every photo Pam was carrying cancer tumors within her, recovering from surgery, experiencing chemotherapy, or struggling through the last couple of years with chronic pain and fatigue. It is so hard to know what a person is going through by looking at them (the exception being the picks around 6 o'clock).

Cancer is a long haul. There is the shock and awe of finding it (both within the victim, Pam, and her family & friends). The pain and scars of surgery (so difficult for a woman). The physical destruction brought by chemotherapy. The longterm and debilitating effects of the treatment. It is a physical and emtional roller coaster. Tough to do it once, looking tougher to do it again. This time the book is being thrown at Pam. No break after chemo this year as she'll jump right into radiation. That will be followed by hormone therapy that promises even more side effects.

Pam's faith is stronger than these drugs, but there will be days of weakness. There will also be days of extreme lonliness, pain, fatigue and dread. It doesn't go away just because her hair grows back or when she throws on her fashionable clothes or does her makeup. 3.5 years from her last round of chemo and each day was a struggle with this disease, you just can't see it by looking at her exterior.

More views from the "caregiver" will be coming. In the meantime, Pam wouldn't mind if you read this post regarding hugging, written by our friend Randy. It kind of applies to her right now. Click here for "arm rest."