delayed reactions

The two weeks that have passed since the last chemotherapy have been about the worst two week span since the start of it in February. Avastin, the metastatic cancer drug, went down pretty easy, but the side effects continue. That bleeding problem that has been around since the start has gotten worse in the past couple of weeks. Some of the other avastin side effects are even less glamorous and have worsened post chemo also. Taxol didn't stop giving either, as the neuropathy it caused that landed between her ears finally reached her fingers as well, making simple tasks nearly impossible. The list of effects is really quite extensive right now, but I won't bore you with them. It has all resulted in Pam making just a few rare appearances outside the house recently.

So when a rather beat up feeling Pam met with the radiation oncologist a week ago and he said "let's start the radiation right away," it was almost more than Pam could take. Nothing like kicking someone when they are down. She originally believed there would be at least a month between chemo and radiation. Yesterday she had to report to the hospital for her radiation simulation. That is the procedure when the quadrant to be radiated is measured and marked using lasers. A CT scan was performed that will be used to map the area so that the least amount of radiation possible will hit her lung, heart and throat. That mapping is being done now and is expected to be complete next week. That will be the green light for the 6.5 to 7.5 weeks (originally it was 6, but seems to be rising) of radiation to begin. Pam made a mercy plea and asked if the beginning can be delayed. Her doctor agreed without hesitation, so Pam bought herself an extra week to regain some strength and hopefully put some of the chemo side effects behind her.

Most people see Pam and notice the obvious. She is a very attractive woman. Even during this chemo and I am sure through the radiation as well. But she doesn't feel attractive and to a woman that hurts. But it's all in her head. Proof...she was recently asked to model some hats with her friend Gina. Marigold was started with the specific goal of creating caps to adorn the heads of women being treated for breast cancer. Gina was the original inspiration and the hats are becoming a modest fashion hit I hear. When you click on the word Marigold you'll see the back of Pam's head on the third pic of the slideshow. Click on the collection tab to see the great photos of her and Gina (and Callie, Aliesha, and the rest). I am grateful for this photographic proof that she isn't the sad looking cancer patient she fears she has become. Thank you Callie for asking Pam to be a part.

Our dear friend Don Bowen received news just yesterday that his brain tumor has begun to grow again. Whether you know Don or not, I will ask for you to pray for him.

The Lingenfelter family fun summer plans for 2009 have changed greatly from 2008. Our regular trip to St. Cloud and Miami will be replaced by daily trips to the radiation wing of Methodist Hospital. Pam has tabled the thought of her 5th consecutive year of running the St. Jude run, although we will still be raising and participating in other ways (I may run, emphasis on "may"...I am actually carrying all the weight Pam's mind has convinced her she has gained).

Josh will go to camp in Michigan for a week and Erin has a camping trip of her own planned. Pam and I may rent a movie sometime in June and if we put it in the DVD player early enough, I will stay up with Pam to watch the entire thing. So, plans have changed, but remain exciting nonetheless.

Thanks for staying with us on this journey. More about radiation to come.

Enough!

...who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 2 Corinthians 1:4-6 NIV



Enough. Pam did it. I had my doubts at the beginning that she would make it, mostly due to her history of over-reacting to each and every drug thrown at her, but she did it. She finished the complete chemotherapy regimen. It wasn't easy and although we are looking back now, it doesn't seem as though time flew. The past 6 months have crept. The next six probably will too. But, step two (the two surgeries can be called #1) is done. A huge thank you to all of you who have supported her, prayed for her and encouraged her.

Last Wednesday went very well. I was supposed to be booked with field trip duties so Pam's folks delivered her to the cancer center. Sheri kept Pam company and watched for reactions. Rachel and Gina showed up to acknowledge the finish. Then they treated Pam to a celebration lunch with even more friends (or was it just Tanya added in? Leesa? idk) It was such a better ending than four years ago when chemo had her stranded in the hospital. So much better.

Pam is tired. Physically the chemo did it's trick. She longs for the strength and energy to run and exercise like last year. Her memory is hit and miss and strangely enough she seems to have pretty sharp long term memories, but the short-term just isn't all that reliable. The blood in her nose has stuck around. Her eyebrows are racing her eyelashes to the floor, giving her the complete cancer patient look she detests. But it's all good. A Porsche without paint is still a beautiful and fantastic car. Amazing Grace is an awesome song even when performed without instruments, maybe even better.

And now, rest for a few weeks, maybe a month or so, then radiation. Pam isn't planning on it being a picnic. The left half of her torso, hip to shoulder to sternum and down again will be nuked. She is guaranteed it will burn and some physical changes are likely. Her love of hot weather is going to be tempered this summer with discomfort, but it is all part of the long term plan of overcoming this cancer. Prayers will continue to be welcomed.

Her blog will continue to let you know how she is progressing. You can have fun watching the hair return (pray with me that it comes in brown with blond highlights, a financial prayer of sorts). I will keep the blog updated as information seems interesting or prayers are needed.

You may wonder why Pam took this pic of Rachel and Sheri in the cancer center in such an odd pose. Respecting the other patients seated all around, Pam was talking quietly to them. Seems both Rachel and Sheri each have hearing problems in at least one ear, Rachel's left, Sheri's right. So they had turned their heads to hear Pam's words better and Pam couldn't resist capturing the moment.

Race for the Cure 2009 A Pictorial

This is the post where the photos will do most of the talking. Sadly, on many of them I had pushed a button on my camera one too many times and I ended up with a bunch of artsy over exposed shots. Missed perfection again, happens every day.

Our team of 4 set out for the race just like every other year. The usual get up early, get this over. But things changed quickly as Pam marched with the other survivors in the rear of the pack near, but in front of the newbies. To Pam's surprise she spotted a group of loud shirts proclaiming "Pam's Posse." Even I, blogmaster, was out of the loop on this one. And the surprise was priceless. Some tears flowed and a hugging festival ensued and all was well. 20,000 or so walked, surrounding the few hundred survivors. The posse numbered around 30.

Shortly into the 5K, an older lady took a spill due to a pothole. Our Erin saw it all as she was directly behind her. Pam heard the thud of her head on the pavement. My first reaction when someone goes down is to yell "STEPHANIE" (Elder...that's who I yelled for when the ladies leg exploded next to me during the St. Jude Run 07 and it worked fantastically). But she was out of sight. Instead, "NURSE" worked just fine, getting Sheri Bryne and Lisa Benson out of the posse double-time. While I called 911 they got her vitals and worked on the bleeding. Susan gathered the posse together and they prayed.

****UPDATE 5/10/09****A SMALL PART OF THIS MOMENT REGARDING THE FALL OF FANNY MCCOY WAS NOTED IN THE PEORIA JOURNAL STAR. http://www.pjstar.com/raceforthecure/x114619092/Magical-emotions-at-Race-for-the-Cure

When it was all said and done, Pam's Posse ended up being near the end of the 20,000. A not-so-brief bathroom stop and our team was solidly bringing up the rear. A memory to add to the memories.

We crossed the finish line with cheers from our group. 1 hour and 41 minutes to go three miles. That has to be a record of some sort.

Pam rounded out the morning by visiting with Dr. Mammolito, again. She also had a little chat with ace Peoria Journal Star investigative reporter, Terry Bibo.

This was a good morning. Thanks to all.

Ribbon Irony

This is the pink week. Watch MLB this week and you'll see pink ribbons, shirts, hats & bats. We look around and see pink ribbons all over the place right now. This Saturday Pam will be heading off to the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure as a survivor for the 5th straight year. In 05 she looked the part, no hair, frail, and weakened by the treatment she had just finished, but managed to walk a mile. In 06, not so much the look, but still not even close to 100%. In 07 and 08 she made people wonder..."You're a survivor? You had breast cancer?" but still she walked just the mile. Here we are in 09 and the race is sandwiched between chemo treatment #11 and #12. She returns to the race as a survivor with an asterisk, a recurrent patient in the middle of treatment. Last August 2nd, the day she ran 21 miles for St. Jude kids, her thoughts were of running the competitive 5K at the Race for the Cure in 09. She had worked so hard to be a "runner." When she decided to undergo chemo again this year, and when she received the schedule of treatments, she knew she would miss the Race entirely. Chemo would put an end to her streak of participating.

But with a very well planned and executed therapy protocol, the encouragement of friends who have kept her walking some each week, and a huge desire by her to keep things as normal and positive as possible for our kids, Pam plans on not only attending, but walking the entire 5K. So our little team of 4 will set out early Saturday morning and join the pink crowd. The numbers are expected to exceed 25,000 and they hope to raise at least $1.1 million. It is sure to be a hugging cryfest. See you there?

Wednesday Pam had her 11th treatment. It went well. Gina delivered Pam's Marigold hats (one pink/one black). The normal reactions to the chemo set in eventually, nothing major. She came home and rested. The day before she attended the Peoria County Jr. High track meet in Farmington. Our Josh is in the 6th grade but competes as a 7th grader with several of his friends at Chillicothe Elementary Center. At this meet he competed in three events, the last being the 800m run. He was running in 8th place for most of the race. With about 50 meters to go he passed two people, placing him in 6th. While 1st thru 8th place scores for your team in the meet, ribbons are only awarded through 6th place. At practice yesterday he received his ribbon for the 800m, brought it home and left it on the table. Sometime last evening Pam noticed it and couldn't miss the irony. I suppose everyone knows that 1st place ribbons are blue and 2nd is red. Fewer people know that 3rd is white and 4th is yellow. Even fewer realize that 5th is green and 6th...pink. Quite appropriate for Josh to bring home a pink ribbon this week.

Heb. 12:1 ...and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us.

Some goodish news

Last week, Pam's off week from treatment, she went in for a PET/CT of her chest. The results were delivered to us prior to her 10th of 12 treatments on Wednesday of this week. Dr. Veeder entered with the words "I actually have some good news for you." That's a switch. Previously he has resigned himself to statements such as "...while it isn't good news, it could be much worse..." or "...guarded..." or "...cautiously optimistic..."

The scans didn't light up any cancer cells. In particular the lumps that we have been watching that Pam discovered post-surgery didn't react as cancerous tumors. This is good news. This doesn't mean that we disregard their presence (as I recall only one of the three tumors removed last December actually lit up during these same scans...so we'll keep an eye on them) but good news is always welcome.

During the past couple of weeks Pam has focused on just getting rest. At this point in treatment she is extremely run down. She budgets her energy with the goal of getting some exercise each day (walking with the girls), dance class for Erin and picking her up from school, making it to track meets for Josh (thanks to my niece Kayleigh), and church. Fun comes in little doses. A couple weeks ago we made it to a reception thrown by Kenny for his wife Gina, a one year breast cancer survivor. Kenny knows how to throw a party. Helps when you have that many friends and the room (The Lariat Club) as well. Gina has been such an encouragement for Pam and it was wonderful to celebrate with her/them. It was also a rare moment when I got to hang out with other husbands who find themselves in the care giving role. It was me, Kenny and the Sally(ies) husbands. You could tell who we were by the tired and confused looks on our faces. Speaking of caregivers, I have had the pleasure of bumping into Angie a couple of times within the past two weeks. She amazes me with her strength and smile. Click her name to see her story, and please pray for her and her boys. I am pretty confident that the majority of people reading Pam's blog are women, so Angie's current post shouldn't shock you too much.

Darbi and Kim took Pam to the major sponsors dinner for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure last week. She had a great time and got to connect with her surgeon (Dr. Mammolito) for the second straight week in a row (she was also at Gina's reception...everyone was at Gina's reception...seriously). She also reconnected with some of the women she used to teach with at Mossville Grade School. You won't be seeing any pics from the most recent treatment Pam went to. Her guests for the day wouldn't even agree to blue dot photos for the blog. I thank Thing 1 and Thing 2 for all your help on Wednesday.

Since this post contained some pretty good news, I don't feel so bad attaching the video below. Nothing wrong with having some fun and sharing it. The challenge I issued (which I got from professional challenger Rick Bryne) was simple...eat three saltine crackers in 30 seconds. I feel I must protect these guys identities by not using their actual names, so let's just say that both Mr. Gergen and Mr. Cross failed the challenge, but gave us all a good and much needed laugh. Their manly overconfidence disappeared within seconds of the start.

Joshua 24:15 ...But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.